Love & Living

JUJU SCARE: ‘She ran mad on our wedding day!’

TRUE CONFESSION

JUJU SCARE: ‘She ran mad on our wedding day!’

I will always love you, no matter what happens…

My name is Ade and my story is a sad one. The love of Ifeoma is the greatest love I have ever had, and will ever have.

In my own estimation, love is not measured by how long it lasts, but by how strong it is.

Even if it lasts for a moment, there is a kind of love that could be stronger than the loves that last for years. That was the kind of love that I and Ifeoma shared.

Don’t look down on me because my wife is now a mad woman, because I’m determined to stand by her till the end. I met Ifeoma 15 years ago while we were still teenagers.

I was staying with my aunt in Lagos and my school was on holiday, so my aunt suggested that I go and spend the holiday with the children of her bosom friend in Enugu. That was how at the age of 16, I went to Enugu to spend a holiday.

The family of my aunt’s bosom friend was a very happy and united one. We called my aunt’s bosom friend Aunty Ngozi, and she had 3 girls. I was gladly introduced to all her children who welcomed me with open arms.

Ifeoma was her first daughter and even at the age of 12, she looked bigger than her age. We became fond of each other and continued our friendship through to adulthood.

I yearned for Ifeoma like a deer yearns for water. And I prayed to God earnestly for the day she would finally be mine.

When I finally got a job in Lagos, I invited her to come from Enugu and stay with me in Lagos, pending when I would have saved enough money to do her introduction.

Ifeoma and I picked a date for our wedding and we looked forward to that day when we would become husband and wife.

However, our wedding day proved to be the saddest day of my life. The truth was that one of my aunts was totally against my getting married to Ifeoma because she is Igbo.

My aunt did everything to turn my parents against my plans to wed Ifeoma by saying that Igbos are only after money. According to my aunt, Ifeoma would only take my money and abandon me.

But still, I was undeterred. I swore to go ahead with the wedding as long as my parents had agreed to it. But I didn’t know what my aunt had in store for us.

On our wedding day, we woke up early and went to the church with Ifeoma looking immaculate in her wedding gown.

After we had exchanged our wedding vows, that my aunt and other relatives came to greet us.

Suddenly, my aunt brought out a black substance from her bag, and rubbed it all over Ifeoma’s head.

Immediately, Ifeoma, my newly wedded wife, started acting funny and taking her clothes off. She would have run out of the church naked if I hadn’t held her hands.

At first, it didn’t occur to us that my wife had gone crazy. We rushed her to a private hospital thinking it was fever or malaria.

It was at the private hospital that it dawned on me that my wife had run mad on our wedding day when the doctor referred her to a psychiatric hospital.

Ifeoma is still in the psychiatric hospital. Yet my aunt is saying that she has found another wife for me, a Yoruba girl from my hometown.

But I have vowed never to let her succeed in her evil plans. I will stand by my wife, Ifeoma, till the end. I will never take another wife.

*Do you have a story or comment about this confession? Call 07031028714.

 

ROMANTIC JOKE

The wife’s experiment…

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses, fills one with water and the other with whiskey. After bringing him to the table that has the glasses, she brings his bait box.

She says, “I want you to see this.” She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear.

“What do you have to say about this experiment?” He responds by saying, “If I drink whiskey, I won’t get worms!”

LOVE NEWS

‘The pain was an 11 out of 10’: Man’s penis ruptures after he heard ‘popping’ sound during sex

A man whose penis ruptured after he heard a ‘popping’ sound during sex has described the pain as ‘an 11 out of 10’.

Ross Asdourian, 32, ruptured his penis muscles and severed his urethra during the horrific incident.

The author from New York shared candid details of his genital trauma on Kyle and Jackie O, an Australian breakfast radio show on Friday while promoting his new book about the experience, Broken Bananah .

“We were having sex in what doctors call “doggy style” position and I came out and then went back in, and we both did that in equal but opposite force, and it caused a very audible “pop”.

“I didn’t really scream because if you’ve ever been in that real pain you don’t really make much noise, some sound comes out of you but it’s not sustained,” he said.

“I went into emergency protocol, I got up, flipped the lights on all while this poor woman is still there on all fours looking confused because she didn’t know what was happening.”

He called an ambulance, telling them that he thought he had broken his penis.

His injury was so bad that even medics looked a little shocked by his genitals, he said.

Medics managed to repair his torn genitals and he confidently attests that he has regained 80- 90% function after a long, painful, expensive and sometimes bizarre road to recovery.

His penis injury racked up $60,000 (£43,000) in medical bills and left him stuck with a catheter for four months.

He also required two surgeries and many stitches.

Ross now says that he likes to blame the injury on the heated, passionate nature of his love-making with the unnamed woman who he said was a former college lover who happened to be visiting his city that fateful night.

RELATIONSHIP AND LOVE ADVICE

‘I need a man who can truly care for me’

Dear Love Doctor,

I’m a young lady living in Lagos. I’m very attractive and men like to be with me. But the problem is that I don’t think that the men around me really know what it takes to care for a woman. I need a man who knows what it means to love someone and has what it takes to care for a lady. If there’s any man among your readers who knows how to care for a lady please give him my number. I need a man who truly cares.

Thanks.

Juliana,

07033501858.

Love Doctor’s Advice:

Dear Juliana,

It’s a good thing that you have an open heart that is ready to give and accept love.

With patience you will definitely find someone who truly loves you and cares about you enough to stay committed to you for the long term.

Just continue being who you are, because the one for you will definitely be attracted to you because of the natural you, that is, because of who you are, and not because of what you have.

Since you will like to be connected with any of my readers who has what it takes to truly care for a lady, I think there are many readers who will also like to get to know you. Let’s see what happens when they start calling me. However, just remain true to yourself and you will definitely find the kind of man you want.

Note: In order to help women seeking relationship and marriage have a fuller figure and better shapes and curves, intimate products are available for you, such as hips and breast enhancement products and products that help ladies to have bigger buttocks. Call for more details.

*For questions or advice concerning this problem, call 07031028714 or 08077821830. Email: ireto007@yahoo.com

IT HAPPENED TO ME

‘I stole because of my addiction to shopping’

I am addicted to shopping. I will go to extreme lengths to get the latest fashion trend. But nothing compares to what I did for my latest fashion fix.

I was at lunch with friends in the city and we decided to stop in at the local boutiques for some retail therapy. We entered a very expensive store that always had something fabulous and that day was no exception. I was instantly drawn to a beautiful coat in the window.

My friends also started hustling for the coat and asking for sizes from the shop assistant. They only had one in stock but it was my size. I tried it on and fell in love with it. It was gorgeous!

I was very nervous to look at the price tag. The lovely coat cost $1500. I couldn’t believe it. There was no way I could afford it. But I just had to have it.

That night I went home and tried to think of ways to get the money for the coat. Like I said, I was addicted and convinced myself I needed the coat. I wanted to buy it before anyone else could. If I had the coat, I knew I would be the envy of all my friends. The problem was, it was so out of my reach.

A couple of days later my friends and I met up for coffee and as we walked past the boutique I noticed a ‘staff wanted’ sign. I suddenly had a thought. Once my friends and I parted ways, I went to the store and enquired about the job. It was a casual position, mainly weekends.

I turned on my sales persona and told the manager I was interested in finding a second, casual job and had a lot of sales experience. I apologised for not having a resume on me as I had only noticed the sign as I was walking by, but the manager was quite eager to give me a trial anyway.

I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. Well, I was in a way, but I couldn’t believe I was actually contemplating it. So I went for my trial, fake resume in hand. The manager gave me a few tasks and then gave me a set target to try and reach before the end of the day.

It was really busy and funnily enough the only thing I was nervous about was if one of my friends happened to walk by. That would surely thwart my plan. Thankfully, no familiar faces showed up. My next challenge was to figure out my plan of attack.

Lunchtime showed that opportunity. The manager told me she would be leaving for lunch but would only be 20 minutes or so. She took some large bills from the register and said that she was going to get change from the bank. I watched her walk into the bank as I could see it from the boutique. The rush had died down and there was no one left browsing the racks.

I knew this was my chance. The coat had been removed from the window dummy earlier as someone was trying it on and it now remained on a centre couch. I quickly picked it up, folded it and stuffed it into a large bag I had ready.

I peeped at the bank to see if the manager had left. She was still in there. I had parked my car just around the corner. I grabbed the bag and ran to my car, leaving the store unattended. I didn’t care at this point. All I knew was that I needed to get the bag out of the shop.

I was in and out in less than a minute. I took a quick glance around the shop and everything seemed in place. I composed myself and waited for the manager to return. At this point I was getting very nervous. I had a fair idea of what I was going to say but wasn’t sure it would work.

By the time the manager walked in I had put on my frantic face and even managed some tears. I was carrying on in a hysterical panic and she told me to calm down and explain why I was panicking. I told her that a customer had come in and asked for another size in a particular top. I’d gone out the back and when I’d returned the girl was gone and so was the coat.

All the manager could do was scream out a huge “What?” I explained that I had only been out the back for one minute but the manager said that I should never have left the front in the first place. I was very afraid she was going to make me pay for the coat, so I said I was only trying to reach budget and that I didn’t want to lose out on a sale. The manager looked distraught.

She called the police and told me that I would have to give a full statement of what the thief looked like. I already knew they didn’t have cameras installed. The police asked me to give a description of the girl and I gave the best description I could of my imaginary thief. I kept picturing a girl who I despised so my description would be consistent.

ODD NEWS

Revolutionary one-day stem cell treatment could save lives of hundreds of thousands suffering heart failure

It sounds too good to be true and there is no doubt the results are astounding – even though medics are not really sure why.

A revolutionary new stem cell treatment, which takes only a few hours, is being hailed as a potential benefit for the hundreds of thousands of people suffering heart failure.

Lying in a hospital bed, Denise Williams knew her time was almost up. Her heart was failing and she was being sent home to get her affairs in order.

Even worse, as sole carer for her brain-damaged teenage son, Denise knew the outlook for both of their futures was looking dire.

Depressed and desperate – and with her heart working at just 10-20% of its normal capacity – she was out of options. Then she saw an advert for medical trials for those suffering from heart failure.

The very thought of being a guinea pig would be ­understandably terrifying but, figuring she had nothing to lose, Denise applied for the stem cell treatment at St ­Bartholomew’s Hospital, London.

Just months after the pioneering treatment, using adult stem cells, Denise’s heart was back within normal limits which she says, “is nothing short of a miracle”.

Denise, 61, has gone from spending all day in bed to feeling “20 years younger” with loads of energy and a renewed vigour for life. Remarkably, she no longer takes any medication and the treatment itself took just a couple of minutes.

“There are virtually no drugs involved, and you’re ‘done’ within a few hours,” she says. “If what has happened to me can happen to the countless thousands of others out there with heart and other health problems, it would be amazing.”

It sounds too good to be true and there is no doubt the results are astounding – even though medics are not really sure why.

The innovative procedure involves taking bone marrow from the patient’s pelvis, harvesting stem cells and injecting these straight into the heart.

So far, just 150 people have received the treatment, which has seen an ­incredible 80% positive response with patients typically experiencing improved heart function and a better quality of life with no further use of medication.

And now doctors hope it could change the lives of countless people living with heart failure and save thousands of lives.

The procedure, which normally costs up to £10,000 per patient, is not currently available on the NHS.

Professor Anthony Mathur, the senior cardiologist leading the programme, says the results so far are “impressive”.

After 10 years of trials at St ­Bartholomew’s involving more than 400 volunteers, he adds: “To achieve long-lasting, potentially life-saving health benefits with no need for additional medication is revolutionary, and could save the NHS millions of pounds.”

Heart failure currently affects 900,000 people in the UK. It is caused by the heart failing to pump enough blood around the body at the right pressure, because the muscle has become too weak or stiff to work properly.

It causes breathlessness, extreme tiredness and death. For most people, it is a long-term condition that cannot be cured and is managed with medication such as beta-blockers. In the most serious cases, a heart transplant may be required.

Heart failure can be caused by high blood pressure, ­coronary heart disease, an abnormal rhythm or weak heart muscles. Trials into the treatment were funded by the Heart Cells Foundation charity who hope the procedure could become widely ­available on the NHS.

As a result of promising findings, the charity has now launched the Compassionate ­Treatment Programme, which offers stem cell therapy to heart disease patients on ­compassionate grounds.

The programme aims to treat one patient per week and hopes to increase this number in 2018.

Jenifer Rosenberg set up the charity after her husband Ian became seriously ill with a heart condition and was given weeks to live. The couple travelled to Germany where Ian received stem cell therapy which transformed his life.

Sadly Ian has now passed away but Jenifer continues to run the charity with the aim of raising the necessary £6.5million to fund the initial trials.

Denise was one of the first to benefit from the treatment. Her heart condition was triggered by an aggressive virus which hospitalised her. She was then given a 33% chance of dying within a year.

She was immediately put on a cocktail of drugs but towards the end of 2009 Denise was taken off all medication.

In 2010, she suffered heart failure again, this time in an airport, and her condition seemed hopeless.

She felt she was living on borrowed time and her disabled son Alex, 16, who had been badly brain damaged after a car accident in 2005, told her he couldn’t carry on without her.

She says: “I was told to go home and ‘make preparations’ – in other words, plan my funeral and find someone to care for Alex. I’d been widowed, my son was brain damaged, and I was about to die. I became depressed, and saw my illness as my own failing.”

So, Denise opted to try the stem cell therapy in 2013 and it changed her life.

“I can walk upstairs without losing my breath,” she smiles, “I have the energy to be there for Alex and, despite being told I was going to die, the opposite is true – I’m getting better every day. Even my cardiologist says it’s impossible, but the treatment has given me hope where before there was only despair.

“I live in hope that one day stem cells may be used to help my son and the many thousands like him who have had catastrophic brain damage.”

To make the trials fair, a third of patients were given a placebo, a third had serum ­injections – which medics hoped would make stem cells travel from the bone marrow to the heart – and a third had the proper stem cell treatment.

Paul Beards, 68, was one of the 60 people to take part in the trial after being diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy. His heart was no longer able to effectively pump blood.

When his symptoms started, Paul found work too hard because he was so exhausted.

“Whenever I tried to climb stairs I’d have to stop several times, and even the simplest tasks like washing the car would leave me out of breath,” he says.

Paul was part of the trial group who was just given serum injections and he felt no improvement in his condition.

Then, in the summer of 2016, he received a phone call to tell him that because 20 people in the active arm of the trial had seen such incredible results, they were rolling out the treatment to the other patients.

“I knew there’d be no instant ­improvement – but around six months later I definitely started to feel stronger and fitter,” says Paul.

“My wife Jean has to keep up with me when we go for walks now.

I’m loving playing table tennis, swimming and playing with my four grandchildren, ­something I didn’t have the energy for before.

“Crucially, the number of drugs I take every day has gone down and I’ve been signed off by the hospital, so no more scheduled check-ups. I feel I have my life back.”

The Compassionate Treatment Unit at St Bartholomew’s Hospital is being supported by the Heart Cells Foundation as they also look for private investment.

Jenifer says: “There are many people living in the UK who have had a heart attack and 800,000 to one million of these are living with heart failure.

“Unfortunately, despite other new treatments for heart failure patients becoming available, progress has been slow and this is why we are so excited by the results of our stem cell trials which suggest we have found a ­revolutionary new treatment.

“The aim is to continue to treat patients with stem cell therapy to give them back their lives.”

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