Love & Living

LOVE & LOVING: ‘Imagine! My own twin sister slept with my husband!’


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My darling husband, you mean the world to me.

My name is Rosemary and I’m a twin. My twin sister is Anne, and ever since we were small, she has always been jealous of me. Maybe it was because I was prettier and more brilliant than her.

I remember those days in primary school when I used to come back home at the end of the term with the first position while Anne took average position.

My parents were always very proud of me and I guess this was what engendered the jealousy and envy in the heart of my twin sister.

Even at the university, boys looked in my direction and ignored my twin sister.

I won the contest for the most beautiful girl on campus and acquired all the hot and rich boyfriends on campus while Anne had to make do with those poor guys on campus that can hardly afford to take their babes out.

I didn’t need the pocket money my parents gave me since I got a lot of money from men.

But Anne, on the other hand, had to share her little pocket money with her poor boyfriend who found it difficult to even pay his school fee.

I laughed at both Anne and her boyfriend and made a ridicule of the poor boy in public.

I thought it was only a joke but my sister hated me for that and swore to get her own pound of flesh from me later. I thought it was the mere ranting of an ant.

Three years later, after we had both graduated from the university, I met Ike, a rich handsome young man who proposed to me within two weeks of meeting me.

When I announced my marriage plans, Anne did not rejoice with me and my parents. She just kept to herself. I wedded my husband in grand style and got a good job with a bank.

However, my husband usually closed from work before me and whenever he got home there was nobody to cook his dinner for him, since I usually closed late from the bank.

So, in order to find a permanent solution to the problem, I begged my twin sister to come and live with us.

I thought it was better for my sister to live with us instead of getting a house-girl because I had heard how house-girls snatched women’s husbands. Little did I know my twin sister would try to snatch my husband.

I usually returned home from work around 10pm. My sister Anne had lived with us for a year and six months when one day, I had to close earlier than usual because my boss traveled that night.

So I arrived home by 7pm and caught my twin sister, Anne, and my husband Ike, on the couch in the sitting room making love.

The three of us had a big fight and my parents had to come from the village to settle the matter. But my sister refused to apologize to me for what she had done and simply moved out of my matrimonial home.

I suspect that she might still be sleeping with my man elsewhere and I’ve sworn that if I catch her with my husband again, I will surely kill her. I believe blood is thicker than water, but not when adultery is involved.

My mother says it is an abomination for a twin sister to kill her fellow twin, but I don’t care. If my twin sister doesn’t want to die, she should leave my husband alone. Period!

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The people in this photograph are models. They have no resemblance whatsoever to any person or persons mentioned in any of the stories in the Love & Living section of AbeyaNews

Revealed: The SIX warning signs your husband is ready to have an affair

You might trust your partner implicitly, but in long term relationships everyone is tempted to stray at some point, according to a performance coach, so it pays to know the warning signs.

Dr. Amy Iversen, who has since launched a new practice in London, provides executive coaching to high-performing individuals from the worlds of business, law, and medicine and has revealed to Femail the six major signs that proceed an affair.

“No matter how strong you believe your relationship to be, it is likely there will come a day when your partner feels tempted,” she told Femail. “Infidelity can be so painful we often make ourselves blind to the signs. Whilst we may not always be honest with ourselves, women are intuitive. We instinctively know when something is up. We have a sixth sense, and we should trust that.

“Every relationship is different, but there are a number of indicators that proceed almost every affair. With a cool head and a cold hard look at the facts, the truth will reveal itself.

“If you are smart and informed, you might even be able to avert the affair before it starts. Asking yourself the following six questions will reveal if you genuinely need to worry.” 

  1. What does his upbringing tell you?

Men that come from broken families with a history of infidelity are statistically more likely to follow suit.

A troubled or abusive childhood, or insecurity as a child can make a man more inclined to stray.

A strict or formal upbringing can increase the attraction of sexual exploration and delayed rebellion.

None of these criteria in isolation means anything. When found in tandem with other indicators they do make your suspicions more likely to be right.

  1. What does his previous behaviour tell you?

Has your partner had a previous affair? Has there been any history during your relationship of him using dating apps, sexting, using masseurs or watching pornography? Has there been any history of sexually addictive behaviour?

What should you do if your partner is about to cheat?

Once you have complimented gut instinct with clear signs of his imminent affair, you’ve arrived at decision time. Every relationship is different. There is no best way to proceed, but there is one important question every betrayed partner must ask themselves. What is it you really want?

When you weigh up all the factors in this relationship, what are you willing to forgive to survive as a couple? Remember, most people that consider an affair have no intention of leaving their partners. It is rarely about love, and infrequently about the other person.

Often, it’s the idea of an affair that proves so alluring – affairs are risky, dangerous, labile. For your man, it’s often about a desire to feel special. To feel important. Valued.

Confronting your partner before they take the first step, reminding them of what they stand to lose will nearly always stop an affair before it starts.

Assuming your partner admits his mistake and doesn’t want to lose you, this doesn’t need to be the end of your relationship – at this point help from an experienced therapist or coach can be invaluable.

In years to come you may look back on this as the moment you re-found a spark; jealousy can be a powerful prompt for desire, and many couples report their best sexual experiences in the aftermath of an affair.

For most of the time our relationships drift along in cruise control without demanding attention. An affair can shatter that complacency and remind a couple what they really mean to each other. Better than that, there can be wider learning for the both of you.

The lessons gleaned from coming through an affair can have profound influences on other areas of your life. Discovery is available to both partners, if you will allow it. If both of you can come to see the affair as an ’emotionally enlarging’ experience, the shared trauma can forge deeper bonds.

Any of these can indicate a predisposition to infidelity. Another clue can be found through his social circle.

Does he have a lot of friends or close family who have been unfaithful to partners? His reaction to the past infidelity of others indicates where his moral lines are drawn.

  1. What’s going on in his life right now?

Affairs are about so much more than sex. They are often less to do with the other person, and more about an individual’s struggle with their own identity.

Getting fired, getting promoted, retirement; any event in man’s life that affects self-confidence can increase interest in exploring sexual opportunity. Death is also a powerful aphrodisiac. The death of friends of family, or bad news from a doctor can make the idea of an affair more appealing.

Esther Perel, an authority on the psychology of infidelity, states that the most common reason given for having an affair is to ‘feel alive’. After a brush with death, an affair lets a man grasp life with both hands.

  1. Have you noticed any changes in behaviour?

The excitement and flattery a man feels at the start of an affair manifests itself in noticeable changes of behaviour. He might suddenly be spending a lot more time on his appearance. New aftershave, an obsession with working-out, or uncharacteristically sharp clothes can be telling signs.

Affairs also require planning and subterfuge. Taking calls in a different room, hushed conversations, and engaging heavily with social media are classic symptoms of a man about to stray.

Often before a man begins an affair for real, he will become increasingly emotionally preoccupied with the object of his affection – called an emotional affair.

Is he talking a lot about someone in his circle at work? Quoting things that they have said for example. In the early stages, before the affair properly begins, he may not hide this from you. This is your chance.

  1. Does your relationship feel different?

A man considering infidelity will find ways to emotionally justify his decision. He may suddenly become highly critical of your behaviour and looks. It may feel like he is continually looking for opportunities to start an argument.

He may cut off emotionally as he struggles with guilt. Conversation may never stray beneath the surface as he becomes paranoid about letting something slip. The prospective affair will probably affect your sex life in some way.

Titillated by the excitement, his libido may suddenly increase, or he could turn away from you all together. Moments of spontaneous affection or gifts can indicate a man coming to terms with betrayal.

  1. Has anything changed in your life?

Let’s make one thing crystal clear. His affair is not your fault. Changes within your own life, however, may influence the situation. Men are more open to the idea of an affair when they feel neglected.

The appeal of adultery is often the need to feel special once more. If something in your life is suddenly taking up a lot of your time, if you are tied up with the kids, if you’re working long hours or looking after an elderly parent, you may find you don’t have much to invest in the relationship.

You may be unable to lavish the attention on him you once did. Perhaps a health issue has occupied your time and your thoughts? Perhaps you’ve had an affair yourself? Anything that has left him feeling less important could contribute to the likelihood of his betrayal.



The Picture 

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot, then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another one. After he finishes, he looks into his pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and asks the man why he looks into his pocket before ordering each shot. The man replies, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket, and when she starts to look good, I go home.”



Models pose

‘My boyfriend wants me to stop hanging out with my best friend’

Dear Love Doctor,

I have a best friend (a guy) for eight years now, and we basically grew up together. I met my boyfriend last year and we’ve been together for about a year now. I’ve been a great partner to him and have treated him well to this day.

However, the problem is that he has a huge issue with me hanging out with my best guy friend alone. I’d like to add that my best guy friend is like family to me. The brother I never had. For the 8 years we’ve been friends I can’t say that I’ve been interested in him in a romantic way.

I can’t say for certain that he has never had any feelings for me but what I know for a fact is that I haven’t made moves on him, and he hasn’t made moves on me. We also hardly see each other because we live in different cities.

So right now, I don’t understand why my boyfriend is acting this way. What do I do?

From Nneka.

Love Doctor’s Advice

Dear Nneka,

Some people may say that “your boyfriend should be your best friend” and that once in a relationship, “you should not be hanging out with a male friend because it is disrespectful to your boyfriend.”

However, the truth is that you have known your best friend most of your life and you’ve only known your boyfriend for only a while. You should not sacrifice your friendship to your best friend over a relationship that may not even work in the long run.

You can’t ‘throw’ your friends away every time you get into a relationship, especially ones you’ve had since childhood. Imagine if we all did that? We’d end up friendless every time we broke up with someone and I think some people actually do end up like that, sadly.

Assure your boyfriend of your love for him and tell him to stop being petty. He should open his mind and be mature enough to respect your friendship or platonic relationships with other people.

Being in a relationship will be a challenge for a person who insists on being absolutely free to do anything he/she wants, anytime he/she wants. If you want to be in a relationship, there are bound to be some sacrifices involved. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Therefore, on your own part, make sure you don’t cross the boundaries in your friendship with your best friend. Do not hang out “too much” with him or overdo things. If you abuse your freedom to hang out with your best friend, your boyfriend will begin to see him as a threat to your relationship and this could result in a breakup. Therefore, do everything in moderation, and your boyfriend will understand.

  • Do you have adviceon this problem? Call/WhatsApp Love Doctor on 07031028714, 08077821830, 08131161840. Email: Visit ws to see more of amazing relationship and love news. Do you have an upcoming traditional marriage, introduction or wedding? Call us. 07031028714, 08077821830.



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‘Yes, I did it, and happily too…I poisoned my husband’s Christmas lunch!’

I married young, and unfortunately realised too late that I had married the wrong person. My husband, who had been sweet and kind while we were going out, didn’t seem to want a wife; he wanted a slave! And every day, that’s what I felt I had become.

The more I did for Ray, the more he demanded, until it seemed that, between the hours of housework he insisted I do every day, and the elaborate meals he wanted me to cook, I didn’t have time for anything else. My social life dwindled, and by our first wedding anniversary, I was absolutely miserable.

I was too afraid to leave as I feared the consequences, for Ray was a very angry man. He hadn’t hit me yet, but his cruel threats and financial imprisonment were just as debilitating. And his family were even worse.

Knowing Ray’s parents, it was easy to see where he got his personality traits from. Nothing he did was ever good enough for them, and nothing I did came even close. They seemed to be at our house all the time, checking up on their son’s wife, and Ray would almost have anxiety attacks over his mother’s pending approval of my cooking and cleaning.

He never seemed to care how I might feel about her constant criticism. If she didn’t like what I had cooked, I was sure to get a serving of his most vicious insults once they had gone. If she did approve, he would claim to have prepared most of it himself.

The worst incident in our marriage was the first Christmas lunch, which I had to prepare. I was a nervous wreck as I basted the turkey, roasted the potatoes and glazed the enormous ham, all without any help, and it showed in the cooking. The food was either overcooked or undercooked as I rushed around in a state of panic, trying to make sure everything was perfect. In front of everyone, Ray said Christmas was ruined, and that it was all my fault. Nobody disagreed.

For 12 months, I awaited the next Christmas with a growing sense of dread. I pleaded with Ray to ask one of his sisters to help me, or for him to help me himself, but he refused, and sneeringly told me I’d better do a better job than I had last year. Then he told me that he wasn’t going to buy me a present until after Christmas, all based on how I did preparing the Christmas lunch.

I knew that Ray would find fault with whatever I did, and that this was just his way of getting out of spending any money on me — when he wouldn’t even give me two cents to buy the things I needed for myself. Something inside me snapped. For the first time, I knew I was going to leave my husband. But first, I was going to make his whole wretched family pay!

A few days before Christmas, Ray came home with a bag of fresh prawns.

“Cook these for entrée, and make sure they’re tasty!” Ray snapped. I nodded silently, forming my plan. I would make them tasty alright. So tasty with chilli they wouldn’t be able to taste anything else for a week!

The same day, I snuck out to a local delicatessen and asked for the hottest variety of chillies they had, and I bought a whole bag. I ground them up in blender, seeds and all, to make a fiery red paste. I would marinate the prawns in this concoction until Christmas, setting some chilli paste aside to add after the cooking as well! I couldn’t wait to see the look on Ray ‘s family’s faces as their tongues were set on fire.

Christmas day arrived, and nothing Ray or his parents said could dampen my spirits, which seemed to make them try even harder because they were ruder and more critical than ever. Beaming with joy, I carried out the steaming plate of chilli prawns, and waited with baited breath. But nothing happened.

“These are actually quite good,” Ray father announced, praise that would have thrilled me once, but today only sickened me with disappointment.

“A little on the hot side,” his mother agreed, “But overall better than anything else you’ve ever cooked. Was this your idea, Ray?”

With a sinking heart, I slunk out to the kitchen to prepare the next course. I was still going to leave Ray, but I would never have the revenge I craved for nearly two years of misery. Or so I thought.

For, you see, the strong taste of the chillies also masked the fact that the prawns themselves were not quite right. I’d been concentrating so hard on their marinading, I’d forgotten that they wouldn’t keep in the fridge for quite as long as I’d had them there.

Even before they went home, Ray and his family were racing to the bathroom in what would become two full days of food poisoning. And it was while Ray was in the bathroom that I left, never to return again!

Even though Ray took the credit for the prawns, I’m sure I got the blame for the entire family getting sick, but I wasn’t around to find out. However, it still makes me laugh to think that, though unintentional in the end, I got the best revenge of all by ruining their Christmas lunch for real!

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